Tory Songs By Sundry Hands

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A. Miller</div> <div> (Expanded from lyrics by The Rev. Charles A. Dinkler)</div> <bR> <div> Glorious things of thee are spoken,</div> <div> Charles the wearer of our crown,</div> <div> For thy sceptre ne’er was broken,</div> <div> Nor thy throne e’er battled down.</div> <div> True-born kings are ne’er cast under</div> <div> By the means the Roundheads chose;</div> <div> Even though they rant and thunder,</div> <div> Thou may’st smile on all thy foes.</div> <bR> <div> Hapsburg, Stuart, Bourbon, Romanoff -</div> <div> Where are our men great as those?</div> <div> All we get are unleashed peasants,</div> <div> Incompetents irrationally chose.</div> <div> Such petty tyrants, egalomaniacs,</div> <div> Loosed into the masters’ beds.</div> <div> How can we expect our liberties</div> <div> When the masses can’t use their heads?</div> <bR> <div> Naught’s been gained by revolution;</div> <div> Levelers, grovel in your graves!</div> <div> Ye who sought the institution</div> <div> Of a freedom that enslaves</div> <div> Shall receive no absolution</div> <div> While St. George’s banner waves!</div> <div> Always shall we shun pollution</div> <div> From your swarms of traitor knaves!</div> <bR> <div> In his cornfield, Periander</div> <div> Nipped the barley stalks, ‘tis said.</div> <div> Each that stood o’er others grander,</div> <div> Leveled, lost its golden head.</div> <div> Thus do tyrant and supplanter</div> <div> Strive to fill the world with dread.</div> <div> Yet in vain their toadies pander -</div> <div> Crown and Right shall ne’er lie dead!</div> <bR> <div> Cavaliers and loyal Tories,</div> <div> Like the ivy, ever cling</div> <div> To the past’s untarnished glories!</div> <div> To the Right we drink and sing.</div> <div> Fie on modern Liberal mores -</div> <div> Sovereignty’s a finer thing!</div> <div> Nobler monarch e’er reigned o’er us:</div> <div> Charles the Blessed Martyr - King!</div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="1c296110.png" border=0 width="150" height="17" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div>  <A NAME="the_founders__anthem"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></div> <div> THE FOUNDERS’ ANTHEM</div> <bR> <div> Air: “Bonny Dundee”</div> <div> Lyrics by Kevin J. McKeegan</div> <bR> <div> To the men of the caucus old Tommy Veal spoke:</div> <div> “All the laws have gone down; all the rules have been broke.</div> <div> We’ll stand no more for this E-Committee;</div> <div> We’ll found a new party and call it Tory.”</div> <bR> <div> <I>Refrain:</I></div> <div> <I>Come fill up your glasses; come drink down your wine.</I></div> <div> <I>For cowards and lackeys the PoR’s fine,</I></div> <div> <I>But all men who love freedom and hate tyranny</I></div> <div> <I>Belong in the Party that is called Tory!</I></div> <bR> <div> Now rises up Argyll and takes to the floor:</div> <div> “Of Smith’s petty games I’ll not have any more!</div> <div> We must stand together for our liberty</div> <div> Preserved in this party that we name Tory.”</div> <bR> <div> <I>Refrain</I></div> <bR> <div> McKeegan was chosen to lead this brave band.</div> <div> He stood up before them and raised his right hand:</div> <div> “By God and our honor we’ll fight slavery</div> <div> With this new party that we name Tory.”</div> <bR> <div> <I>Refrain</I></div> <bR> <div> Seminara stepped forward; his name he did sign.</div> <div> Then Garner and Ross, Tharp, Dinkler and Fine,</div> <div> Pledged to opposing all cruel mastery,</div> <div> Pledged to the party they have named Tory.</div> <bR> <div> <I>Refrain</I></div> <bR> <div> The faint distant trumpets that tyrants now hear.</div> <div> Dobbs quakes in horror; Smith shudders in fear.</div> <div> There stands a new party of men who’ll live free,</div> <div> A party that bears the proud name of Tory!</div> <bR> <div> <I>Come fill up your glasses; come drink down your wine.</I></div> <div> <I>For cowards and lackeys the PoR’s fine,</I></div> <div> <I>But all men who love freedom and hate tyranny</I></div> <div> <I>Belong in the Party that is called Tory!</I></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="1c296110.png" border=0 width="150" height="17" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div>  <A NAME="a_son_of_the_gop"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></div> <div> A SON OF THE GOP</div> <bR> <div> Air: “C’est Moi”</div> <div> Lyrics by James H. Ditkoff</div> <bR> <div> A son the GOP should be conservative</div> <div> And envy the government of Franco Spain,</div> <div> Be irrelevant to his time,</div> <div> Tight-fisted to a dime,</div> <div> And do everything a monarchist should do.</div> <bR> <div> A son of the GOP should be conservative,</div> <div> Think thoughts that a Dixiecrat would never dare,</div> <div> But where in the world is there in the world</div> <div> A man so <I>reactionnaire</I>?</div> <bR> <div> <I>C’est moi! C’est moi</I>! I proudly reply.</div> <div> I’m much too noble to lie.</div> <div> The man in whom these qualities bloom,</div> <div> <I>C’est moi, c’est moi</I>, ‘tis I.</div> <bR> <div> I never would stray from all I believe</div> <div> To vote for a moderate bill.</div> <div> If I had run against FDR,</div> <div> We’d have the Depression still!</div> <bR> <div> <I>C’est moi! C’est moi!</I> Right wing till I’m dead.</div> <div> To me Bill Buckley’s a Red.</div> <div> So here I stand, the sole of the Right,</div> <div> Unwilling to yield, but eager to fight,</div> <div> To fight for the GOP! <I>C’est moi!</I></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="1c296110.png" border=0 width="150" height="17" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div>  <A NAME="the_edmund_burke_song"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></div> <div> THE EDMUND BURKE SONG</div> <bR> <div> Air: Traditional (among Tories, that is)</div> <div> Lyrics by Robertson G. Morrow, III, Joseph C. Smith, Jr. and the Edmund Burke Society of the University of Chicago</div> <bR> <div> To Edmund Burke we raise our glasses up!</div> <div> Damn the French, call the wench,</div> <div> Bring up another cup</div> <div> To pass around until we call for more.</div> <div> Toast the Queen! Drink the Green!</div> <div> Raise a raucous roar!</div> <bR> <div> Tradition! Tradition!</div> <div> Raise the cup high, and DON’T ASK WHY!</div> <div> Tradition! Tradition!</div> <div> Ours but to do or die.</div> <bR> <div> Heretics beware!</div> <div> Remember Neitzche’s dead.</div> <div> It’s no fluke; like the Duke</div> <div> Of Cambridge always said,</div> <div> “All change is bad. Progress is perverse.”</div> <div> Restore the Crown! Sing a round!</div> <div> Another solemn verse:</div> <bR> <div> Tradition! Tradition!</div> <div> Raise the cup high, and DON’T ASK WHY!</div> <div> Tradition! Tradition!</div> <div> Ours but to do or die.</div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="1c296110.png" border=0 width="150" height="17" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div>  <A NAME="the_green_cup_song"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></div> <div> THE GREEN CUP SONG</div> <bR> <div> Air: “Ode to Joy”</div> <div> Lyrics by Frank A. Dobbs</div> <bR> <div> Rum’s the stuff for swinish fellows.</div> <div> We have tasted Paradise:</div> <div> Wrapped within a silver chalice,</div> <div> Champagne, creme de menthe and ice!</div> <bR> <div> Lost elections, gross defections,</div> <div> Chairman flunking out of Yale.</div> <div> There is no one to replace him;</div> <div> All the best are locked in jail.</div> <div> Droop the Party standard lower,</div> <div> Yet it shall not touch the ground.</div> <div> While we still have nights at Mory’s,</div> <div> Pass the greenish cup around!</div> <bR> <div> Hail our Chairman! Hail our Party!</div> <div> Hail us stout and righteous men!</div> <div> Flee the wiles of wilful Fortune -</div> <div> Drain the greenish cup again!</div> <bR> <div> Days of weeping? Nights unsleeping?</div> <div> Broke up with your Vassar chick?</div> <div> Got an Aggie Maggie haggy,</div> <div> One embrace to make you sick?</div> <div> Grades are falling? Dean is warning?</div> <div> Army’s got you written down?</div> <div> Once more ‘fore the world weeps sorrow,</div> <div> Pass the greenish cup around!</div> <bR> <div> Hail the men who fight for freedom!</div> <div> Hail the stout, conscripted men!</div> <div> Before we have to go and join them,</div> <div> Drain the greenish cup again!</div> <bR> <div> Asia’s falling, Europe’s calling,</div> <div> New York City we can’t save;</div> <div> Cannot trust the State Department -</div> <div> Every one’s a Commie slave!</div> <div> While we pay outrageous taxes,</div> <div> Socialism’s creeping down.</div> <div> Still can joyous lads and lasses</div> <div> Pass the greenish cup around!</div> <bR> <div> Weep for Russia, weep for China,</div> <div> Weep for verdant droplets spilt.</div> <div> We sha’n’t weep for blood or country</div> <div> While the greenish cup is filled!</div> <bR> <div> Harken all ye heathen masters!</div> <div> Drink makes mortal man a god.</div> <div> In the halls of bright Olympus,</div> <div> Never dwelt so sweet a cup.</div> <div> In the doom of dark-ruled Hades,</div> <div> We have known Elysium.</div> <div> In the land of grief and shadow,</div> <div> Pass the greenish cup around!</div> <bR> <div> Drain once more the silver chalice;</div> <div> Drink until all sorrows end.</div> <div> Not until we feast in Heaven</div> <div> Shall we know such drink again!</div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="1c296110.png" border=0 width="150" height="17" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div>  <A NAME="barry_in__88"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></div> <div> BARRY IN ‘88</div> <bR> <div> Air: “Pomp and Circumstance”</div> <div> Lyrics by Brian H. Phipps</div> <bR> <div> Teddy Kennedy lost weight;</div> <div>      He’s thinner than O’Neill.</div> <div> Cuomo dodges morals gracefully.</div> <div>      Bob Dole makes a deal.</div> <bR> <div> George Bush waits in the basement.</div> <div>      Pat Robertson’s speaking in tongues.</div> <div> Jack Kemp slides to the center -</div> <div>      Only Barry sticks to his guns!</div> <bR> <div> They say Reagan was too old,</div> <div>      But, hey, it’s never too late.</div> <div> Although it may be long overdue:</div> <div>      It’s Barry in ‘88.</div> <div> If the Twenty-Second ain’t repealed,</div> <div>      It’s Barry in ‘88!</div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="1c296110.png" border=0 width="150" height="17" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div>  <A NAME="we_ll_hang_billy_clinton"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></div> <div> WE’LL HANG BILLY CLINTON</div> <bR> <div> Air: “Battle Hymn of the Republic”</div> <bR> <div> We’ll gladly hang Bill Clinton to a sour apple tree.</div> <div> His impeachment will not fill the bill for folks like you and me.</div> <div> We don’t like his feminazi boss who’s known as Hillary,</div> <div>      As we go charging off!</div> <bR> <div> Charging off in all directions, killing Cabinet selections,</div> <div> Democratic vivisections, as we go charging off!</div> <bR> <div> Billy didn’t go to Vietnam. We know that he was wrong.</div> <div> With Billy in the White House no longer are we strong.</div> <div> He’ll just sit out on the South Lawn with his lips around a bong,</div> <div>      But he will not inhale!</div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="1c296110.png" border=0 width="150" height="17" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div>  <A NAME="the_tory_toaster"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></div> <div> THE TORY TOASTER</div> <div> Air: “The Gambler”</div> <div> Lyrics by D. Mark Renaud</div> <bR> <div> On a cold winter’s evening,</div> <div> On a walk down old York Street,</div> <div> I met up with the Chairman.</div> <div> We were both too tired to think.</div> <div> So we walked into Mory’s</div> <div> In order to get some Welsh rarebit.</div> <div> The Party overtook us,</div> <div> And he began to speak:</div> <bR> <div> “Well, I’ve made a life out</div> <div> Of debating with the liberals,</div> <div> Knowing how to check their facts</div> <div> And turning them all red-faced.</div> <div> So if you don’t mind my saying,</div> <div> I can tell by your faces,</div> <div> If you’re quiet for a moment,</div> <div> I’ll make the first toast tonight.”</div> <bR> <div> Mr. Waltz handed him the Green Cup,</div> <div> And he drank down the first swallow.</div> <div> Then he passed it to Mr. Gizis</div> <div> And asked him to do the same.</div> <div> And the night got unusually quiet,</div> <div> And his face looked emotional,</div> <div> Said, “If you’re going to Tory toast,</div> <div> You’ve got to learn to do it right:</div> <bR> <div> “You’ve got to know when to toast them,</div> <div> Know when to joke them,</div> <div> Know when to sing a song,</div> <div> And realize when you’re through.</div> <div> You must toast ol’ Ronnie</div> <div> When you’re sitting in the Front Room.</div> <div> There’ll be time enough for the British</div> <div> Before the evening’s done.”</div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="1c296110.png" border=0 width="150" height="17" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div>  <A NAME="god_rot_ye_libertarians"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></div> <div> GOD ROT YE LIBERTARIANS</div> <bR> <div> Air: “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”</div> <div> Lyrics by Max J. Ruttger</div> <bR> <div> God rot ye libertarians; you fill us with dismay:</div> <div> Your atheistic tendencies, your anarchistic way,</div> <div> Your flaunted immorality leads innocents astray,</div> <div> But you’ll get yours on Judgment Day, Judgment Day,</div> <div> Yes, you’ll get yours on Judgment Day!</div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="1c296110.png" border=0 width="150" height="17" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div>  <A NAME="a_mory_s_song"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></div> <div> A MORY’S SONG</div> <bR> <div> Air: “As Time Goes By”</div> <div> Lyrics by Kevin J. McKeegan and Robert J. Seminara</div> <bR> <div> You must remember this:</div> <div> Gin's better than a kiss,</div> <div> And nothing's quite like rye,</div> <div> The alcoholic things of life,</div> <div> As booze flows by. . . .</div> <bR> <div> And when two drinkers booze,</div> <div> You know Mory’s will lose,</div> <div> If one of them is I -</div> <div> The alcoholic things of life,</div> <div> As booze flows by. . . .</div> <bR> <div> Bourbon and ginger, never out of date;</div> <div> Glasses of old-fashioned won't ever have to wait;</div> <div> At three in the morning, for booze it’s not too late -</div> <div> There’s no need to run dry. . . .</div> <bR> <div> It’s still the same old story:</div> <div> I pay no bills to Mory’s.</div> <div> On that you can rely. . . .</div> <div> Come, join me for a nightcap now,</div> <div> As booze flows by.</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="#_________home" TITLE="Tory Songs By Sundry Hands"><U><B><Return to Top of Page></b></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <B>  <script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript">var site="sm8Stromata";var g_frames=true;</script> <script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript1.2" src="http://sm8.sitemeter.com/js/counter.js?site=sm8Stromata"> </script> <noscript> <a href="http://sm8.sitemeter.com/stats.asp?site=sm8Stromata" target="_top"> <img src="http://sm8.sitemeter.com/meter.asp?site=sm8Stromata" alt="Site Meter" border=0></a> </noscript>    </b></div> </td> <td valign="top" width=185 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="2632e2c2egerdp.jpg"> <div> <B>INDEX</b></div> <div> <A HREF="id286_m.htm#cavalier_anthem" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Tory Songs By Sundry Hands"><U><B>Cavalier Anthem</b></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id286_m.htm#the_founders__anthem" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Tory Songs By Sundry Hands"><U><B>The Founders' Anthem</b></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id286_m.htm#a_son_of_the_gop" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Tory Songs By Sundry Hands"><U><B>A Son of the GOP</b></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id286_m.htm#the_edmund_burke_song" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Tory Songs By Sundry Hands"><U><B>The Edmund Burke Song</b></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id286_m.htm#the_green_cup_song" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Tory Songs By Sundry Hands"><U><B>The Green Cup Song</b></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id286_m.htm#barry_in__88" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Tory Songs By Sundry Hands"><U><B>Barry in '88</b></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id286_m.htm#we_ll_hang_billy_clinton" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Tory Songs By Sundry Hands"><U><B>We'll Hang Billy Clinton</b></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id286_m.htm#the_tory_toaster" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Tory Songs By Sundry Hands"><U><B>The Tory Toaster</b></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id286_m.htm#god_rot_ye_libertarians" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Tory Songs By Sundry Hands"><U><B>God Rot Ye Libertarians</b></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id286_m.htm#a_mory_s_song" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Tory Songs By Sundry Hands"><U><B>A Mory's Song</b></U></A></div> </td> </tr></table></body>