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Verse

Alone within a secret garden,

I sang my sonnets to the sky.

“Go forth, let resolution harden,

And sing to her,” the clouds reply.

So, lady, let me ask your pardon,

While I expound the love I bear.

I saw you once and thought you golden.

Another glance and still more fair

You seemed, until my heart was holden

To your beauty though it bring despair.

Yet nothing could my tongue embolden

To speak the words within my breast:

“O lady whom all angels favor,

Pray grant your suppliant's request.

One taste of you, the smallest savor

Would set his famished soul at rest,

Nor shall his loving ever waver,

Though you may smile for but a day.

“So come, sweet nymph, and let me linger

Upon your lips, then pass away.

My memory's harp with joy I'll finger

Near by some fogbound northern bay -

You be the song and I the singer

And all of time a time to play.”

At last the dim-eyed world discovers you,

A treasure richer than the purest jade.

So long seen only by the lucky few

Whom chance or kinship gave a private view,

At last this rumored diamond is displayed

And proves our whispered lauds of beauty true.

As your long friend, I cannot wish you ill,

Nor curse the newer friends who give you praise.

Go laugh with them; bestow love where you will.

Your life begins so late; enjoy your fill

Of mirth, but as you dance away the days,

Let me regret you are not hidden still.

Beyond the backmost corner of my eye

In every pretty place I pass,

I see my dear one laughing at the sky,

I see her dancing on the grass.

I see her frolic in the falling snow

Or dream beneath the noonday rays.

In twilight woods I see her shadow go

A breath beyond my farthest gaze.

So often would I chase that prancing shade!

Or call your name and hope to hear

An answer murmured from the distant glade

To say that you yet think me dear.

The images are silent; silently

I stand at last. But where are you?

I sense your presence here, not tangibly

Yet not a fluttering memory’s hue.

For woven through my eyes and lips and hands,

Through all my senses’ every part,

From loving you so long are subtle strands

Of you entangling soul and heart.

However far away from you I seem,

I carry some of you and smile;

I know that loneliness is but a dream,

And you are with me every mile.

Do you hear the sound of weeping

From the place where she lies sleeping,

Who once set my heart to leaping

Full of hasty vows? Their keeping

Seemed so easy long ago.

All was May, and all was gladness.

No tomorrow could bring sadness.

So I reasoned in my madness,

Thinking saplings free of badness

From infected roots could grow.

Now the shadows creeping nightly

Enter vows we made too lightly,

When rash promise seemed made rightly

And the flame of love burned brightly,

Far too brightly, long ago.

Enjoy your flirting now, while friendly skies

Reflect the mocking laughter of your eyes

And all the universe is cozy, warm,

Forgiving of a coquette's willful storm.

Enjoy your flirting now, before your day

Must change dawn's glowing for the noontide's gray

Sincerity and then for twilight's ashen

Lost light, lost smiles, lost friends, lost years, lost passion.

Enjoy your flirting now. Already men,

As they admire, are calculating when

This scorning sprite will scorn her liberty

And choose forever him or him or me.

Enjoy your flirting now. I should regret

The fading of Aurora's rose, and yet

I too can calculate and hope that soon,

If dawn must pass, I may be warmed by noon.

Forsaking lands where Cupid reigns,

Long years I thought my soul was free,

But now in stronger beauty's chains

Secure the god imprisons me.

Bound in love's torment I must lie,

But never promise liberty!

Release from you would be to die -

These chains excel delight, and I

Yearn for long years of slavery!

Damsel, with your smile remove

Pains that fester in my heart.

Vain does every physic prove

Except the herb that caused the smart:

You, my hopeless, hoped-for love.

How will I know if she's in love with me?

Will I hear chimes ringing in her ear?

Or when we have to say good-night,

Will she turn to hide a tiny tear?

How will I know if she's in love?

How will I know if she's in love with me?

Will I ever dare to call her “dear”?

Or when the band is sweet and slow,

Will I take a chance and draw her near?

How will I know if she's in love?

In movies it's so simple -

A boy meets a girl;

He takes her in his arms;

The screen starts to whirl. . . .

But will I know if she's in love with me?

Is it love or just politeness that I hear?

And once again, when all is done,

Will I stand in silence out of fear

And never know if she's in love?

I dreamt the Charon beckoned me.

He marked the blood sign on my brow.

He pointed to the Stygian Sea,

Then to my place in his boat’s bow.

But still I asked a reckoning,

To hear my sin, to know my crime,

To learn what fault displeased the King.

I would recant such place and time.

“Recant?” he smiled, a dry-lipped grin.

“Before your know, perhaps you would

Avow to nothingness your sin.

But wilt repent what you called good?

“No murder brings you to my shore,

No violence or even lie.

If nothing worse than these you bore

You could repent and would not die.

“But when you smiled with evil friends

And called indifference charity,

You chose your path, and here it ends,

Alone - upon this ship - with me.”

I sought from her a simple smile.

I used. no words of lover’s guile

Nor wished to stay but for a while,

Yet she refused

And left me pining still today

How I was used.

I failed to find the words to say

My actions were not flirting play,

That purer thoughts and deeper lay

Within my heart.

Now in my soul her frowns have burned

A deeper smart.

Dear lady, when the world has turned

From green to gray and you are spurned,

Remember how a fool once yearned

For your embrace.

Doubt not the world will grant your frowns

An equal grace.

I used to laugh at sweethearts’ games

And tell men love was not so blind,

For his swift arrow only lames

Those gentlemen of foolish frames

Who scorn right reason and the tranquil mind.

I laughed until, one sunny day,

When flowers and folly were in season,

I saw you walk, your figure sway

In time to your sweet voice - straightway,

I left my laughter and abandoned reason.

Though on your face I barely glanced

And would not break the spell by calling,

I fancied that your eyebrows chanced

To lift toward me before you danced

Away to some bright land where stars are falling,

Where you became an angel’s bride

Or wed an Elven prince of Faerie,

For where would be the heavens’ pride,

Should you, outshining seraphs, glide

Away from them and choose a man to marry.

But, as for me, I still scorn love,

Though not with jests or mocking laughter.

Instead, I scorn it like the dove

That catches sight of worlds above

And leaves its heart beyond this Earth thereafter.

My love goes dancing where immortal stars

Enjoy their feast of timeless light,

Where Venus takes the hand of stalwart Mars,

A realm too rich for human sight.

But while she dances I must sit apart.

When Saturn takes her by the hand,

A billion leagues below my envious heart

Implores the crystal spheres to stand!

Should Chaos once again usurp the sky

And fling the planets from their place,

At least my darling would dance here, and I

Could rebuild heaven from her face.

Let justice fail, and let the heavens fall!

Let night become confused with day!

The universe? I’d gladly give it all,

That she might come to me and stay!

Now either love or cease to love, but make

A choice while choosing time remains.

The years are thieves that from the sleeping take

The goods of life and leave the pains.

She dances now as grace herself would dance,

If goddesses should dance with men.

But time will cripple grace or sudden chance

Undo the grace that might have been.

Permit a dozen years to mount attack,

And love itself will falter in the rout.

Unanchored ships are blown to splintered wrack,

Although their rigging had been stout.

The time has passed to let affection float

Whichever way the currents fly.

The storms draw near. With chains secure the boat,

Or let another sailor try!

Now that your witching ways have snared my heart

Till my one pleasure is your smile,

Let no reluctance keep our souls apart,

But come and love with me awhile.

Is my request so hard that when I speak

Your lips draw back from me and frown?

When I say “love”, do you fear that I seek

A half-night's pleasure in the town?

Do you remember vows declared before

By suitors gone with morning birds?

Then scant my vows, but hear when I implore

With love embodying more than words.

A vision glows within my soul, where we

Together roam, together run

From east to west, and where we go I see

No gloomy night, no hidden Sun -

But nature greeting us with larks and rills,

With leaf-filled bowers for our sleep,

With Sun-flecked days and ever-beckoning hills

To climb and chance-found gold to keep.

Bound not by promises but by the life

We interchange in every kiss,

We laugh at other sweethearts' vows and strife

And quarrel in nothing - save in this:

Each day to love each other more tenderly

Than yesterday, to grant the desire

The other feels before ‘tis felt, and be

A warming, not a burning fire.

So should we live if you would join with me,

Dull work and duller past behind.

Come! Be rewarded for your witchery

With love forever true and kind.

O little moon, whom I once spied

Eclipsed by that well-painted Sun

That hid your glory as sands hide

A diamond in a layer of dun:

O little moon, I looked at you.

I saw light dance about your head.

(I thank the kindly breeze that blew

A ringlet to your lips of red.)

O little moon, you used no art,

But when you smiled, I knew that soon

Your fairer light would warm my heart,

Occulting sunbeams with the moon.

Reflect sometime, sweet honeybee,

Who love the flowers and sip their dew.

Consider, when the blossoms see

Your graceful flight from bud to tree,

They may admire and feel some love for you.

They may admire, although you know

A flower’s nerves are sluggish things

That cannot notice when you go,

Nor think of why you treat them so,

Nor beg another touch of silken wings.

There was one bud you idly kissed,

A new-sprung rose that sadly missed

Your soft imprint when it was gone.

As long-bound captives wait for dawn,

So do its petals still persist

In yearning for that kiss withdrawn -

Your living touch that wilts the cheerful lawn.

Forgotten now, that lawn is gray

As some bleak cell where violent crime

Must suffer loss of joy and day.

I wither since you passed my way;

And how and why, sweet girl, reflect sometime.

So close to nothing now, a dwindled, unseen sphere,

I press my elements into a blackened bier.

Electrons, protons, neutrons, like sand fused into glass,

Like silver coins in forges, are melted in the mass -

A single whirling atom that holds its heat and light,

A solar system’s graveyard, a blacker hole than night.

Yet once I filled a sky, and. once the race that trod

My greenest planet’s soil adored me as a god.

The breeze has lifted up her curls.

Through rustling strands, the leaves are blowing--

Red leaves, gold leaves are twined in swirls,

And like a wood-nymph shape she whirls

As if her tresses were soft branches growing.

She danced that night, but danced no more,

No more across the woodlawn leaping.

She dashed and splashed down to the shore,

Where, shaking out her hair before,

She gave her body to the waves for keeping.

Some while the strands were mixed with foam;

Some while her lips with song were calling.

She sang of countries far from home,

Of pilgrims’ dreams, of knights who roam,

And girlish daydreams lost and falling. . . falling.

The flowers I smiled at when Springtime was blooming,

The flowers I fancied I one day might pluck,

Are whispering away in the breezes of Summer

With laughing dream visions of Fairies and Puck.

The dreams I invented are dazzling with actors.

In silks and in jewelry, they dance nights away;

But I do no dancing; I gaze at the patterns

Of fantasy footsteps I chased yesterday.

Now yesterday's follies seem wiser than wisdom.

The revery lingers, less dreamy than life.

I chose my affliction - no use in complaining.

If only this peace were more placid than strife!

The reason for love, the reason I adore you,

The reason why my arms are longing to explore you

Lies not in your charms. . . .